On Admonition

My fault is that I judge people and cross the line, giving sermons while my own heart is hard as stone. Lord, forgive me and grant me the grace to weep in grief, for I mourn the excess of days already gone. My youth passed in vain and my forelock has turned white; how long, then, will my ledger stay dark with sin? What sorrow for a youth spent in careless play; there is no play left once gray fire has caught in my head. What shame I will feel before the faces of the saved when they light up with joy, while mine is pale with despair. O beautiful Concealer, my hidden secrets have grown ugly in my own eyes, however fair they seem to others. What regret is mine tomorrow among the gathered righteous, if I still carry my burdens and my stains. How can a man endure the boiling heat of hell, when he could not bear the heat of a bathhouse room? You who promise pardon for what men wrongly did and forgot, I ask you for pardon, for I too have erred and forgotten. If you show mercy to servants who did good deeds on the Day of Gathering, then Lord, have mercy on me for my bankruptcy of them. Forgive my slips by your generosity, my Master, to spite Satan, so he cannot gloat over my ruin. And if I deserve blame, raise me up blind on that day, so I am not disgraced among my neighbors and companions. If God forgives me for the boldness that passed, then, O my good news, no harm can come to me from anyone.